Lead a moral life

Now the fourth thing, the fourth Statute of the Lord is to lead a moral life. These Statutes were given by all the Gurus, take them from Socrates onward, Moses, Abraham, Dattatreya, Janaka, up to, say, Nanak, Mohammad Sahib, and take up to the point where it was only about a hundred years back you can say, at the most, was Sai Nath.




All of them have said that you have to lead a moral life. None of them have said that you do not get married, that you do not talk to your wife, that you have no relationship with your wife; all this is nonsensical.




Lead a moral life. When you are young, not married, keep your eyes on the ground; Mother Earth gives you that innocence by which you develop that principle within you, is very important principle. Its such a pure principle, it really helps the society to develop its dignity.




Now think, in a society where you do not know who is your sister, who is your brother, who is your mother, what complications it can create; what confusion, what unhappiness. It is one of the most essential things for human beings, to be moral. For animals it is not necessary.




Most of the confusions and problems, specially in the Western life, have come because they have thrown morality in the sea, and to accept morality as the very basis of society, its very difficult for them, its a complete reversion.




But you have to do it, you have to turn the whole wheel back. So, many things were done in the beginning of the society to establish this pure relationship.




There are laws which act, as if there are laws of, chemical laws are there, there are physical laws are there, in physics and chemistry. Indeed, there are human laws which one should understand.




The relationships between each other, the sublimity of their relationship, the purity of their relationship must be understood, and then only you can have a very, very happy married life, which is the basis.




'Thou shall not commit adultery.' But Christ has said - perhaps He knew the modern people as they would be using their brains for this - He said: 'Thou shalt not have adulterous eyes.'




What a vision, in those days to think; I mean, even I could not understand it when I was in India. After only coming here I could see that, what did it mean. Its a possession on the eyes, possession.




It's a joyless, useless behavior, its tiring. Attention is frittered away completely; there's no dignity. Eyes should be steady. When you look at somebody steadily you should know that you have got Sahaja Yoga in you; with love, with respect, with dignity. Not staring at people and just playing into the hands of these possessions. The whole society is possessed.




All the satanic forces have been let loose, I think, and the way people are possessed, they cannot see through these things. And they are supposed to be Christians! Attention is to be looked after.




Thats the most important thing, because attention is the one which is going to be enlightened.So we have to know what morality is. Let people laugh at us, let them say that: 'These are goodie-goodies', or this sort of thing. We are!




We are proud of it. We are not ashamed of being righteous people. This is a very important part of righteousness. Those who do not follow this will lose their vibrations very fast.




H.H.Shri Mataji
Guru Puja, 1980

Hampstead Temple, United Kingdom
(DCB July-August 2001)

Advice To Brides

So your style should be gentle, you should not shout, you should not get angry, you should not treat anybody shabbily. I will immediately know who is an unkind hostess.



People will tell me that Mother she is a funny woman, she does not how to behave. I don’t want to hear that. I want to hear that you are very sweet, nice wife who will look after the husband, who will look after the family of Sahaja Yogis. That’s your job. There is nothing to feel degraded in that.



That’s what you have to do in Sahaja Yoga. That’s why you are so important. You don’t know that the role of woman is so important, so very important that she can change the whole family into a beautiful Garden. It is her sweetness, her own creative mind of love that can work it out. Must find out the art of love and work it out on anybody who is disturbed or who is unhappy or who is crossed. You can do it. You should know how to pacify that person and how to impress.



First quality you must have is the generosity of character. You should not mind giving up anything to anyone if they want. You will enjoy your generosity now and in that you should be generous when you forgive others. Forgiveness is very important and then you will never feel the weight of your married life.



Forgive. Also you have to forgive yourself. Not to feel guilty, not to feel guilty at all about anything because after all you are also Sahaja Yogis and if you have done anything wrong, it’s alright, it doesn’t matter. But you should have the sweetness. The sweetness of a wife who will emit love and peace to others. You should not be a dominating personality or a person who is aggressive, not at all.



On the contrary you are the one who can bear lots of things and make fun out of every nonsense that you see. Nothing is so serious to fight it but to make a fun out of all that and make a fun for every one. That’s what you have to be, always smiling and happy.



You will be amazed, you can make beautiful marriages for yourself; for your husband and for all Sahaja Yogis. I am also very sure, if you will make a successful marriage, you will have very very good children who will be born realized. So you should be good mothers, mothers who can really do good to their children and to other children also.




All that is stored for you in future. I know you all will be enjoying very much your future life and make it so beautiful that everybody should talk, that ‘look at these Sahaja Yoginis?’ How great they are. Their lives are happy.



It is very very important that we should pay attention to our own mistakes than to the mistakes of others and try to correct them. See, they are themselves capable of looking after themselves. Only you should care for them and also you should in every way be very kind and gentle.


I am sure you all can make very good families which now a days are not available. You don’t see people who are happy in the family. So no complaints about the husband, no complaints about anybody to the husband but you make yourself so sweet that everybody wants to take your love, your guidance and they will come to you.


I am sure that you can work it out. There are so many Sahaja Yoginis who brought such credit to me and have done such good work. I accept the same from you.


May God Bless You



H.H.Shri Mataji
Advice To Brides
Delhi 23rd March 2000

Never try to put a wedge between husband and wife

Now the whole idea of this Maryada is such that when you have called somebody as a sister or a brother then it is not only lipservice, "You are my sister".


It is something 'innate', and very deep. You have to develop that feeling of a sister. Because that's how your sublimity will go up, your left- vishuddhi will improve, your Vishnumaya will be satisfied.


If you call somebody a sister, the sisterly and daughterly relationships, and motherly relationships, always bring down the so-called ego, which is hiding in the left vishuddhi. So try to be kind and gentle with the person whom you call the sister. Stand by her. Look after her.


If somebody you call your brother, you have to pray for his protection; then you must know that you have a right to ask him for 'his' protection also. But you must also 'give' something to him, and you must try to look after him, welcome him to your house, and treat him as a part and parcel of your being, because he is 'very much' near to you because he is your brother, and he's very much closer to you.



But such a brother should not try to dominate the wife, - this is the Maryada, again. Like somebody is very friendly with the brother. Or a lady is friendly as a sister, then she should not try to put a wedge between husband and wife. That is the 'worst' thing to do, is to put a wedge between husband and wife. Anybody who tries to do that must know that he is a mean person. One should 'never' try to put a wedge between husband and wife.



I know there are problems between husband and wife, I will put them right. But you don't try to put any wedge between them. And don't try to create a problem. If it is problematic, it is for 'me' to solve, you people don't have to solve. And don't interfere with their married life. Let them be as they are, I will find out how they are, I will try to help them.



But it's 'very' wrong to play with their married life or with their marriage problems, and suddenly jump on somebody, - is a very wrong thing. Which is very common here. A woman is in distress, you see, a man will come to help her. Even if she is married, he will elope with her. This is how he comes to help her in the distress. - To create another distress for her.




So this is how one should understand that this kind of a cheap heart giving business is not for Sahaja Yoga.



In our heart resides the Spirit. We are dignified people, and in that dignity, we have to rise, and live with that dignity. Not to cheaply allow the Spirit to be insulted or dominated or subjugated to 'anyone'.



H.H.Shri Mataji,

London,11th August 1984

Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada

(DCB November-December 2007)

Trust your spouse

To think that the woman is dominated by the man or the man is dominated by the woman comes from a kind of a complex and this complex must be given up. You are complementary to each other. You decorate each other. Never talk ill of your husbands and never talk ill of your wives. This is the key of an exclusive married life……. You have to trust each other. The trust in God, children imbibe when they start learning from their parents how they trust each other




The whole world is to be transformed, once we learn this trust- not in money alone, but in every way, a trust, a complete trust. As you trust yourself, you must trust the other, who is not the other anymore.

H.H. Shri Mataji
29th November 1981

Go on trusting more and more. There should be a competition in loving. There should be a competition in trusting, in being honest, in being kind, of being in service. Let there be a competition like that.

H.H. Shri Mataji
3rd March 1980

Two wheels of one chariot

Now the left side is the centre of the family life, the Gruhalaxshmi, the goddess of the family, the household you see. A person who runs after money too much, forgets his family. He has no time for his family. The husband and wife may meet somewhere on the airport or may just wave at each other sometimes you see, crossing each other, or the children suffer the most. And in that case the women also then take up with the men, they compete what’s wrong, they start copying men, and in so doing so, when they compete with each other, then what happens, that this family life gets disturbed. The woman of the household is dissatisfied, her ego is not satisfied. In olden times the man used to go in the jungle, and get all the wood cut, bring it home, and give it to the wife and wife used to cook. There was no problem because there was barter system. He could see her working in the household.



Now the husband earns the money and the woman spends. I mean that also requires some work, isn’t it to spend the money. But to man it looks like, that I’m the earning member and she’s the spender. So she said all right, I will also earn. But in this too much of competition, too much of competition like this, between the two, what happens, the family suffers, the children suffer and such a person will have problem with the wife, the wife will have problem with the husband and you can always feel that center on this finger, if that finger is catching, that means there’s something wrong with your family relationship, that you have to adjust yourself, or he has to adjust. It’s an important thing. Because you are like the flowers which have to produce a fruit. That’s what nature wants. Nature wants that you are there to produce the, fruit, that is your children. That’s why you are men and women. That’s the basics.




Now, if you think that with that responsibility if you can do something else you should do. But the main thing is that, and if you don’t do that, is to look after your children, to give them joy, have a beautiful nest for them, then I must say that you are neglecting your basic duty and your attention is on something else. That’s why so many divorces are taking place and problems are there, the women ask for their rights, they go beyond their limits, they became dominating here, the men become dominating. That’s not the way we are going to solve it. We have to know that we are two wheels, two wheels of one chariot, one on the left, another in the right. Now they are not similar, they’re not similar they are two types one left side one right side. But, they are equal. In their, whatever they do it’s equal, they are to be respected equally in the same manner. And it is always so for example, I had a girl who came to me and she was a private secretary, and she told me: “Mother you say this, but I’ve seen that all these men come and flirt with their private secretaries.” So I said: “All right, maybe so, but what does that matter.”




You see that shows that’s something wrong with the man, he doesn’t understand, he’s off his head, he cannot enjoy his wife and he’s running after other things. It’s like having something in your house and you are looking at other things you see. Like in India if you go to some, somebody comes to your house be careful about your things, but in England I tell them, if somebody comes to your house be careful about your wife, see. Is just a little difference between, but the second one is a dangerous thing because fundamental, the wife is the fundamental thing, because you do not know what she will do, how she will react and you do not know how the guests because that is regarded as their freedom. But if you take away something from somebody’s house that’s not freedom, because we can take away anything from somebody’s house why should anybody arrest us? Because there is a free will for you to do what you like, is allowed to do what you like, but in that free will you are harming so many people and ultimately your society.




Now these two wheels, as I said, are very important to God, because so many great people want to take birth on this earth. So many great souls want to take birth on this earth, and if we behave in such a manner, that all the time this chariot is this way going up and that way going up, I can tell you no child would be willing to be born in this place who are great people. Only the people who are of the worst type will be born, they’ll be hooligans, they’ll be horrible people with a horrid nature and they’ll spoil the whole atmosphere of the countries where husband wife have, do not have good relationship. The children will be such hooligans and such horrible things that you’ll be surprised that at the age of eight years and five years they’ll be committing murders and doing all kinds of such thing that you’ll be shocked.



Now between you and me, because you are also husbands and wife and, one thing it should be there that we should not quarrel before our children. We should have all decency of husband and wife, there are so many things we do not do in the presence of our children. In the same way we need not sit down and quarrel and say: “I hate you and I hate you.” I tell you this is something you have to change little bit in our language. In India if somebody says: “I hate you” it’s regarded, that man regarded as a most unmannerly person. I mean its very bad manners to say “I hate you” how, I mean it shows that you are very low type of person to say like that. But “I hate you” so what. If you hate so what, you are not God. If you hate me what does it matter, actually, if somebody hates someone, so what. That shows that person is not a good person, just to hate someone.




“I hate you” is a way of expressing something that is I feel, is very wrong for the family system. It shocks children. Children look upon you as ideals. When they are born you should see them, most of the children nowadays in Australia are born realized, I see them around when I went to the airport and I see they’re born realized. And they watch you, and they’re surprised and they sulk and they feel very sad. They don’t like, they don’t take sides, they don’t like the father to fight the mother, the mother to fight. And one other thing which you must understand, that a certain gradation has to be there. A woman is the strongest point of the household. Like this Mother Earth is. She takes all the problems upon herself. She, because she’s the strongest. Who else can withstand this kind of, weight on her. It’s the mother only can do that. In the same way a woman in the house is the mother, and she has to bear. You see it’s nice to have a husband who comes home and says whatever he likes and takes out all the filth on you, than to have a husband who is very sweet, hello, hello and outside he goes like a bumptious tiger on everyone.




Such a man is, has to be, he has to, you see they’re like children I would say, they are like children. They have to take out their tensions on their wives only, and you should be an absorber of that and that’s the sign of a woman. A strong woman doesn’t get easily disturbed by these things. She’s not bothered. She says all right, you little baby come along, now I have had four babies, now this is the fifth one which is the smallest has come. Let him shout and scream, even with the children, you have to be patient, they’ll hit you, they’ll do anything. I would say that way in India, children are treated very kindly and they are special things. They will do what they like when they are children, but when they grow up we do not have teenage problem, we do not have problem where the children don’t respect.



H.H. Shri Mataji
27th March 1981