Right to correct between brother and sister

Once you call somebody a sister, she's a sister. And once you call somebody a brother, he's a brother. It's not only that you should be born of the same parents, it's not necessary, but this is a very important principle to have a very pure society where everybody can live peacefully.


It's a common thing I have seen in the West, that a lady comes as a friend of the wife of the house. So, she's there and she is a sister of the husband, has to be. But on the contrary, next day you find that this man starts having bad eyes towards this lady, because, from very childhood, if you have not fixed your attention on your sister, with all that purity, you cannot have that pure feelings for another woman.


The starting point is your own sister. The son is born and then the daughter is born or first the daughter is born and the son is born. From that small age, when they are innocent, this is a dimension of sisterly pure relationship is developed, even when the society is so corrupt and bad.


But at a very young age, say, at the age of eighteen years, because of the social relations here and the social ideas, the second part, which is a brother's duty towards the sister, is to respect the chastity of his sister and to protect it, and also it is the sister's duty to keep the brother moral, morally all right.


So once it becomes freedom after eighteen years of time, eighteen years of age, then the sister goes with any man, lives with any man, the boy is not supposed to say anything, or if the brother goes and stays with anyone, the sister cannot say anything, she cannot interfere.


On the contrary, like India anywhere or I was told also in China and Egypt, even Islamic countries, if they find their sister going with another man, they'll shoot that man, in the Islamic countries. In India they may not shoot, but they will see that the sister is put right.


Same with the brother, in India I can say, in China also. If the brother is immoral, he's going the wrong way, then the sister tries her level best to bring him back to normal morality.


It's very common that if a man is doing wrong, then the wife goes to the sister and she's very anxious, and she becomes very upset about it. She goes all out to correct her brother. And this innate understanding exists within us.


In every person, whether you are born in America or anywhere, that if the brother is doing the wrong thing, if he is smoking, if he is doing wrong things, more than the mother, the sister feels it, more than the mother, the sister wants that it should be corrected, and she goes all out, to fight it out.


Mother may start crying, weeping, give up, but the sister will go on fighting her brother. In her, all efforts, she will see to it that the brother comes around. Also, other things like, if the brother is doing something illegal, something wrong, something which is detrimental to the society, it is the sister, who has a right, divine right, to go and correct.


In a society, where this relationship is very pure and where societies are quite settled down, the question doesn't arise, mostly, that the sisters do wrong. But supposing a sister does something wrong, supposing a sister goes out of the family, she tries to give up her family for somebody else, or she tries to dominate her husband or to do something wrong in the family, then the brother will go and tell her off, what he thinks of her, and will try to correct her.


So this right to correct between brother and sister does exist, not because it is some sort of an outward thing but innately from within ourselves. This is the Ganesha Principle which acts, on Vishuddhi Chakra where, whatever communications we have, we have a sister's relationship and a mother's relationship.

H.H.Shri Mataji
Raksha Bandhan Puja 7th August 1990
Los Angeles, United States

Soul-searching is important

Soul-searching is important to see, why am I so friendly with such and such person? If you think that you are friendly with such and such person for some other purpose, like somebody might say that, ' Oh, I am all right, because I am working with her,' or something like that, but why interested?


Because soul-searching is very important in these countries specially, because here there is no norms about how you behave with other women. So we have to be absolutely free as I said with each other in the sense like that brothers and sisters are.


And whatever are the limitations of a woman must be observed, like you see, say, if My brother is sitting with Me, I cannot watch a romantic picture. Cannot. If My daughters are there, My husband will not sit there to watch a romantic picture. It's very subtle.


With the brother you won't discuss something, normally, say about sex or about things like that, because it is such a private thing that you can only have this with your husband.


So, if he is a brother and you find him that he is trying to attract the person in a way that you should not, then you have to place yourself, against yourself, and see for your sake, why you are doing it? It's such a frivolous, nonsense thing, it's a joyless pursuit! So why should I do it?


Once you understand the importance that Sahaja Yoga, you can only achieve your ascent through purity. There's no other way round. Anything which is hanging on to you, will keep you down. And whatever you go, start dropping it out, whether it is ego, superego, anything.


But the highest of all is the purity of your mind as far as the sex is concerned. I will give it the highest part. That's what we call as innocence. That's the only thing that will take you ahead. And so we all should try to search our souls.

H.H.Shri Mataji
Raksha Bandhan Puja 7th August 1990
Los Angeles, United States

What a Rakhi is

Daddy, what’s a Rakhi?

Does it come with Santa Claus?

A Rakhi is the sweetest gift

It twinkles in the stars.

It wakes the world with lightning

And puts an end to wars.

Does it grow in summer?

Is it very big or small?

A Rakhi is a bond of love

It nourishes the trees.

It is the timeless border

Where the mountains meet the seas.

Is it in the kitchen?

Does it taste like lemonade?

A Rakhi quenches every thirst

And rids the heart of lust.

Respect is its foundation,

Its furniture is Trust.

… Mommy, what’s a Rakhi?

(I don’t think Daddy knows.)

A Rakhi is a little string

That’s given once a year

From sisters to their brothers,

To show their love and care.

What’s so special, Mama,

About something like a string?

It’s not the string that’s special

But the pure feelings that come,

When brother-sister power

Makes their hearts beat like one drum.

It would make nice music

If we all could tie this string!

Someday the world will know this,

Then everyone will see

What a Rakhi is and why it

Is the bond that sets us free.

(a joyous poem by : Edward Saugstad)

Raksha Bandhan and Maryada

Some useful links to extracts related with Raksha Bandhan and Maryada

Shri Mataji words on Raksha Bandhan


Brother Sister relationship

Letter by Shri Mataji

A poem - WHAT A RAKHI IS

Shri Mataji words on Maryada

You have to be a 'saint'

Relationship with each other

Relationship with Sahaja Yoga

Relationship with Children

Never try to put a wedge between husband and wife

Brother sister relationship

Now, brother sister relationship - the relationship of Vishnumaya is, that Vishnumaya is the one who is the Sister, Sister of Shri Krishna.



She is the one who announced the Coming of Shri Krishna. She is the one who sacrificed her life to save Shri Krishna's life. Vishnumaya is the one which surrounds Shri Krishna; and She was born as Draupadi who, you know, was later humiliated by Duryodhana and it was Shri Krishna who came and helped her.



So it's a very sweet relationship of purity, of help. A very delicate relationship is to be maintained of a brother and a sister. And that is a special relationship. Today, those who want to tie the Rakhis to a sister should tie today before me, it will be a good idea.



It is a greater relationship than any other relationship. Because here somebody is your 'own' sister, is alright. But if she is not your own sister you should know that you all are born of 'One' Mother. So the brother and sister relationship should be alright.



In that also one should not have preferences Because some would like to have a rich sister! Or some sort of a nonsense like that. Or somebody would like to have the most miserable one. This is all but a relationship with a person with whom you would like to be happy, you should tie the Rakhi. And if there is anybody left out, I would say that best thing would be to have your lucky dips. I think for people, something like that could be done so that they choose their sisters and tie the things. Which ever way you like you choose it. But I have got some nice Rakhis for you; that should be done today. And I will be very happy. And then we will do this little havana for the Vishnumaya.


May God Bless you


H.H.Shri Mataji,

London, 11th August 1984

Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada
(DCB November-December 2007)

Relationship with Children

Now the relationship with children also one should understand. I have seen some people have a habit of getting a child very much closer, and pampering them, "Oh ! this child is this thing", "Oh I that child..."



Let the parents handle the child, 'you' just don't interfere with other's children. Don't interfere much with them. If you find any child is such and such, inform me, I will cure the child. But if a child is being spoilt by you, it's the worst thing to do-to harm that child, is to spoil.


Children here are 'very' clever and intelligent, you must know. They are 'very good' at manipulating. They will, because they are extremely precocious. They are realised souls, they are born in this country. What a combination ! At that time you should be 'very' careful as to their training.



From the first five years all the parents should be 'extremely' strict with children. 'Extremely strict'. Don't allow them to overpower you or manipulate you. It's 'very' important. If you allow them to overpower you or to dominate you, they will sit on your head. Tell them not to do like that. And one day you will come and say "Mother, what to do, these are realised souls and you see we were looking after them.



" They are not deities. They are not deities to be worshipped. They are 'only' realised souls. So keep them at that point. And you are my trustees of these children. And if you spoil them, it is 'you' who will he held responsible. You have no business to spoil the lives of these children as Sahaja Yogis, and their chances of ascent. So if they are born- realised, they are not deities; this you must understand. They are not 'beyond' corruption, they are not beyond all kinds of things.



So this if you understand, this little point, that dealing with your children, you have to be 'really' strict. They must know how to meditate, they must know how to pray, they must know how to respect; and all the good things you must teach your children - and don't allow them to sit on your head.



Many people have ruined the lives of their children like this. Now will you see such child is brought into proper level? If the child is trying to take liberties with you, and cheeky, and does not listen, please give that child to some other Sahaja Yogi, whom you think can look after, to look after - and see that the child is put right.



"Nip in the bud" is the best way, because we don't want to have children who are spoilt, who are spoiling other children, nor we want children who are subjected to such children. So, you can have proper children, well-behaved children, sensible, wise children. Because they can really be a drag on you, on me, on everyone, if you do not properly bring them up. And they are our liabilities, we have to look after them.



H.H.Shri Mataji,
London,11th August 1984

Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada
(DCB November-December 2007)

Never try to put a wedge between husband and wife

Now the whole idea of this Maryada is such that when you have called somebody as a sister or a brother then it is not only lipservice, "You are my sister".


It is something 'innate', and very deep. You have to develop that feeling of a sister. Because that's how your sublimity will go up, your left- vishuddhi will improve, your Vishnumaya will be satisfied.


If you call somebody a sister, the sisterly and daughterly relationships, and motherly relationships, always bring down the so-called ego, which is hiding in the left vishuddhi. So try to be kind and gentle with the person whom you call the sister. Stand by her. Look after her.


If somebody you call your brother, you have to pray for his protection; then you must know that you have a right to ask him for 'his' protection also. But you must also 'give' something to him, and you must try to look after him, welcome him to your house, and treat him as a part and parcel of your being, because he is 'very much' near to you because he is your brother, and he's very much closer to you.



But such a brother should not try to dominate the wife, - this is the Maryada, again. Like somebody is very friendly with the brother. Or a lady is friendly as a sister, then she should not try to put a wedge between husband and wife. That is the 'worst' thing to do, is to put a wedge between husband and wife. Anybody who tries to do that must know that he is a mean person. One should 'never' try to put a wedge between husband and wife.



I know there are problems between husband and wife, I will put them right. But you don't try to put any wedge between them. And don't try to create a problem. If it is problematic, it is for 'me' to solve, you people don't have to solve. And don't interfere with their married life. Let them be as they are, I will find out how they are, I will try to help them.



But it's 'very' wrong to play with their married life or with their marriage problems, and suddenly jump on somebody, - is a very wrong thing. Which is very common here. A woman is in distress, you see, a man will come to help her. Even if she is married, he will elope with her. This is how he comes to help her in the distress. - To create another distress for her.




So this is how one should understand that this kind of a cheap heart giving business is not for Sahaja Yoga.



In our heart resides the Spirit. We are dignified people, and in that dignity, we have to rise, and live with that dignity. Not to cheaply allow the Spirit to be insulted or dominated or subjugated to 'anyone'.



H.H.Shri Mataji,

London,11th August 1984

Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada

(DCB November-December 2007)

You have to be a 'saint'

Because, how you talk, how you speak, everything should be saintly. You are 'saints' now ! Do you realize ? You are all 'saints'. So how you behave with dignity towards each other, how you respect their dignity, how you live, is 'very' important.



And that you should try to maintain in a way that looks like a 'saintly' behaviour. You have to be a 'saint' ! And that is not difficult for you, to take to that, that you behave in a manner that you are saints.


This is very important. It would be killing, absolutely killing Sahaja Yoga, if you do not keep your Maryadas. That is one of the 'Most' essential things one has to understand. I have told you again and again how you dress up, how you bear yourself up, how you talk, how you listen to others more than you talk yourself, how you become non-aggressive, - is the best way to impress people and to express Sahaja Yoga.



I tell you, as it is people have started saying, "They are very beautiful people, you can see they are very beautiful. You can see they are very different type. It's something different. They are something great." - People have 'started' saying that.



But 'still' we lack in certain things, like we start going on a plane which is not suitable to our stature, to our dignity, to our position as saints. We are all prophets, and prophets have to behave like prophets. They can not behave like cheap-type people. So, in that we have to understand the Maryadas.



H.H.Shri Mataji,
London,11th August 1984
Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada

(DCB November-December 2007)

Relationship with each other

Now the second thing is that Maryadas of relationships between you, is relationship of 'Pure' Love. Of Purity. Unless and until you develop 'pure' relationship, you are going to be ruined.



See, this finger has to have pure relationship with the hand. Supposing if this finger has some dirty feelings about this hand, it may dirty it. It may spoil it.


In the same way we must have 'extremely pure' relationship with each other. Means we should try to give our heart to another person without any lust or greed in it, - that, we should try to do. Try to help each other.


I find when they feel in a lusty way, or a greedy way attached to others - this is not for the Sahaja Yogis, but non Sahaja Yogis - they get so much interested in that person. It's a very 'baser' way of attachment..


But in Sahaja Yoga, your attachment is with your Spirit, your Atma. And Atma is the 'purest' form of our being. We have to keep it absolutely pure. And then the enjoyment is higher than any romance, any marriage, any worldly thing. It's the highest and the top-most. First achieve that. First of all you should 'arise' and 'achieve' that. 'Achieve' that purity. That is very important.

H.H.Shri Mataji,

London,11th August 1984

Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada

(DCB November-December 2007)

Relationship with Sahaja Yoga

Now your relationship to Sahaja Yoga is also very important. There's a Maryada about it very much. Sahaja yoga should not be taken for granted.



Anybody who thinks he has got realisation and now he is sitting on top of the world - is not so. You must work it out, you have to have discipline. The same gentleman - the BBC fellow - was saying that it was before, for years together you had to live in celibacy and wash - and sweep steps of the temple and do all kinds of things, work hard, do this do that, - and then they would raise it to one chakra.




I said, "Now we do it the other way round". First build the dome, and then the foundation. Sahaja Yoga is like that. So that, with the dome you understand you are protected, you are looked after. But people take for granted. Like : "Mother will do it." "Leave it to Mother." No.



It is not so. You are my hands. Now, supposing, my hands have to lift this, I should say that "Nirmala will do it." Now which is Nirmala ? - These hands are the Nirmala at this point!



So, many people drift like that, so to Sahaja Yoga also your attitude should be of respect. You should not try to put yourself into bandhan before others, you should not try to do these things, but in a dignified way you should respect Sahaja Yoga. And 'foremost' of all, to Sahaja Yoga your relationship should be that you should 'know' "Sahaja Yoga" what it is."




H.H.Shri Mataji,

London,11th August 1984

Raksha-Bandhan and Maryada

(DCB November-December 2007)